I So Happy!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!
Mr. Jankles is okay! I’m sorry I misled you with my last post. He is okay. I am so happy! This is the best day of my life! He’s okay! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!I love you, Mr. Jankles! BEST DAY EVER! The vet was right! He isn’t an idiot! Still, I am definitely not stupid either. Mr. Jankles is all done puking. No puke-puke for Mr. Jankles! He such a good boy! Isn’t you a good boy! I love you Mr. Jankles! Oh yes I do! Yes I do!
I am sorry I have to give you this information. Mr. Jankles has become sick. He vomited a few hours ago. I took him to the vet, and the vet said “He is fine; you shouldn’t worry about him so much”. Mr. Jankles has such an idiot vet. I only worry about Mr. Jankles as much as he deserves, which is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much. And he is very sick. Do all healthy dogs vomit? No. He is sick. My vet is so stupid. If you wish to help Mr. Jankles, you may contact my representative and donate money. Say a prayer for him.
Only a happy person can be as cool as me, and because it is my mission to make everyone else important, I will now raise your self esteem. You are important. You are needed. You are special. You are cool. There. I have now raised your self-esteem. If you still need help (if you do, you’re really messed up) go to:<http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/7555512-self-esteem-how-to-raise-your> and buy the book.And don’t say that I have a partnership with this site and am trying to get you to buy the book. I am not. Really. Truly. I’m not lying. Seriously.
Buy this
Trade Bit, the world's greatest company
I am the best dancer in the world. Seriously, nobody is better than me. I’m great. I can stand on my head for hours at a time, and on my feet for a few hours, too. I’m really good. My feet are so nimble. If anyone can beat me at dancing, it would have to be my puppy, Mr. Jankles. He is such a cute puppy. I love him. But I need to get back on topic. My amazing dancing. I am fantastic. I have men all over me when they see me dance, and I have to say, “Sorry guys, I’m not like that”. I’m thinking about starting a dance school.
I was thinking of this as a logo (it’s me dancing).
Me Dancing/My Logo
This school will be great.
Me and my scientists (that’s right, I own a lab) recently discovered a juice that grants you superpowers. I have decided to make this superpower juice available to you. But there is a catch. You see, we are still in the testing phase of my superpower juice. If you would like to get some, what better way than to help us test it while you enjoy it. You must only pay a nominal fee to test it. So, give it a try.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any deaths, claws, balding, expansion of bladder, or the growing of hair on fingernails. We are required to show you pictures of what may happen if you test
our 
product.
My hair is quite attractive. I wash it and dye it every Sunday instead of going to church. I think that my hair is a great alternative to religion.
Very Hot
All of you may feast upon the glorious sight of my hair, which is currently green and slicked back. Don’t you like it? See the chain around my neck? I think it accentuates the hair. Leave a comment if you like my very, very, very beautiful green, slicked back hair.
I just realized. When I made this blog, I revealed to everyone how great I am and what a failure everyone else is. I am sorry if I made you feel like a failure, even if you are. Even failures are necessary in our world (not really) and you are a key to the puzzle that is the world. No matter how unimportant you are needed by someone out there. I’m sorry that I’m better than you.
